Allow me to say something to you…

Published May 23, 2015 by dapithapon

What will you do if someone will say that a few days from now,
earthquake is bound to devastate your hometown?
If you ask me, I will tell you that “I love you.”

No matter how difficult it may seem,
Or even if I stutter from being nervous,
Even if there’s a huge possibility that you’ll react negatively.

Why?
Why will I waste my time on someone like you?
I guess it’s destined to be that way.
At the moment,
you are in my heart and mind.
Why?
I really don’t know the answer.
Please don’t ask me because I cannot explain it.

Allow me to utter the words that seem overrated to most people.
Allow me to let you hear the beating of my heart,
scarred from all the failures in love and relationships.
Allow me to express the feelings I have for you
even if you doubt the sincerity of every word I say.
Allow me to use a few minutes of the confidence I have gained for myself
just to let you know that I love you.
Allow me to forget all my fears and the consequences of my momentary impudence.

I did it because if I hesitated, the ground may engulf all my composure.
I never want my decision to disintegrate like the houses from the mountains
that plummeted to the ground and will forever be fragmented.

I never want to wait until tomorrow to say all the things that I want to say to you,
because if I do, I will only feel anxious, afraid of rejection, failure and heartache.
I never want to pass the time that only the sound of crickets can be heard
and not my voice that I carefully prepared just to say the words you refuse to pay attention to.

I promise this will be the last.
Please listen.
Even for just a minute.
Or until I express what I feel.
Before the earthquake.
Before the ground trembles.
And before the earth cracks into million pieces.
And most of all, before this feeling completely disappears.
Allow me to say “I love you” even if you refuse to believe it.
“I love you.”

~ dapithapon / 5.23.2015

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