As I was sifting through the yellowish pages of my old diary, I chanced upon an entry about my quarter life crisis. It didn’t seem significant before but now, I think that everything that is happening to me this year is an effect of my past indiscretions. Seriously, I think this time I should be more careful before jumping into conclusions or making a decision.
I found out that I plunged into depression when I was 25 years old. There were entries in my diary that narrated how negative my perspective of life was during that bitter year. My life seems to have no direction and I was full of angst. I was this 25-year-old girl who honestly thought of going on a hiatus and hide from the world because I was angry and lonely at the same time.
Luckily, at age 31, I couldn’t find a trace of the symptoms of depression now. It almost vanished into thin air. However, I still think that the darkest hours of my life were pretty alarming. I was fortunate enough to survive that ordeal. There is truly a God that helps us all.
Stupid decisions are really detrimental to our current and future state of mind and real-life situation. But of course, with every failure, there is always a room for improvement.
There are moments, though, that I couldn’t help but sulk in the corner. In fact, I sometimes feel that it is quite frustrating to know that I should have been in a different path but because of my wrong decisions in the past, I am stuck with my current state. The effect was quite fatal.
Nonetheless, I have learned a lot. The past few years taught me really good lessons in life. I just need to work on building my confidence again and realign my priorities in life. It’s tough but I hope I can keep up with the challenge.
If I will successfully climb Mt. Pulag on May 5, I promise myself that I’ll do some meditation at the summit and reflect on things that may help me achieve my new personal goals.
After that adventure trip, I hope to be on track again. 🙂