Sorry for feeling this way again…

Published December 6, 2010 by dapithapon

I never expected to feel this way again. I thought I’ve completely moved on already. Sadly, it seems that my heart is suffering from intense pain for crying out your name… I badly need to move forward without looking back.

I know you’ll never look at me the way I want you to. I know you’ll never share sweet nothings with me like what I’ve seen in my dreams. I know you’ll never hold my hands and feel their warmth the way I imagine you would do. Most of all, I know that you’ll never whisper the words I long to hear simply because those words are meant for someone else and not me.

When I learned that you have found your new happiness, my heart palpitated from mixed emotions. I felt like I’m a paper cup crushed into deformity. I felt so defeated from an unknown battle. Tears almost fell from my eyes as if a centripetal force whirled me into a deep melancholia like sitting on a merry-go-round that starts spinning endlessly…

I need to get away from this feeling as fast as I could and run like hell while embracing the wind until my sweat trickles down my face to hide my tears.  I pray for the wind to take me to another place where I can find inner peace and redeem myself from indescribable loneliness.

My heart is in a limbo…I’m so confused right now I have actually no idea on how to get by. I know this is just temporary but I am still overwhelmed by sadness and the only way is to acknowledge it.  I hope this will end soon.

In the meantime, I seek comfort in music. I am currently listening to songs that will perhaps cure this gripping sadness in my heart.

To the person who made me feel this way, I am dedicating this song to you. Although I am not sure if you are visiting or reading my blog, in case you’ll chance upon this post, I hope I am already healed…

Here’s the video and lyrics of Too Many Walls by Cathy Dennis…

Wish on a rainbows is all i can do
Dream of the good times that we never knew
No late nights in the warmth of your arms
Ill dream on
Living in wonder, thinking of you
Still looking for ways to uncover the truth
Youre so young is all they can say
They dont know.
If i could change the way of the world
Id be your girl
Too many walls have been built inbetween us
Too many dreams have been shattered around us
If i seem to give up theyll still never win
Deep in my heart i know the strength is within

Watching the others chances drift by
Theyll never discover these feelings i hide
Deep inside im falling apart
All alone with a broken heart
Thinking in silence is all they allow
These words still unspoken may never be found
All these dreams one day will be mine
They cross my mind
My time has yet to come
Until then
Too many walls have been built inbetween us
Too many dreams have been shattered around us
If i seem to give up theyll still never win
Deep in my heart i know the strength is within

Chorus to fade…..

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