Time to breathe again…

Published November 24, 2010 by dapithapon

Three years ago, you broke my heart. I cut off all communications with you, thinking that it’s the fastest way to heal. I’ve had enough of your selfishness anyway, and so, even if  you’re the one who ended it, it was a blessing in disguise because I was ready to leave you. That was my secret plan and I was so glad you unwittingly executed it for me. Two days after entering into a relationship with you (for the 3rd time! imagine that?), I have already reprimanded myself for making an impulsive decision. It was stupid, really. That’s why, I secretly concocted some plans on how to get rid of you or stay away from you, for good. (Note: Nothing sinister should be attributed to this statement. Take it figuratively.)

I’ve tried almost everything. I was sickeningly sweet to you. I stalked your Friendster account just to spite you. I demanded too much of your time. I even called your cellphone almost everyday. I monitored your whereabouts and asked you to limit your time with your friends. I made it impossible for you to breathe. I went through all these hassles of becoming the girl you never wanted to be involved with just to irritate the hell out of you and compel you to break up with me. Boy, I have succeeded with flying colors! Damn, I was happy and sad at the same time!  I cried for a day upon hearing your generic break up lines and told you to “Go to hell!” After that day, all my anger dried up so fast that it felt so good. It was as if a huge rock was lifted from my lungs. I was able to breathe. Freedom, at last!

You know this. It was a mistake to engage in a relationship with you for the 3rd time. We have learned from the 1st attempt that it will never work. We are really better off as friends. You badly need to fix your life and I don’t need to be tangled up with your complicated situation. For some strange reason, you keep on coming back to me and insisted on being in a relationship with me again and again and again. A vicious cycle, indeed. I guess we never learned from our mistakes. You always end up betraying my trust and I always get hurt by your insensitivity and betrayal.

So, what were you thinking when you called me by my cellphone one day and annoyingly insisted that we should be together again (for the 4th time!)?? You said you realized that you always wanted to be with me. But, have you ever asked yourself if I feel the same way, too?

Don’t blame me for your miseries and don’t you dare make me feel guilty for rejecting you. I am entitled to protect my own happiness. I am not accountable to you. Remember that Karma’s a bitch and it hit you like a fly swat. This sounds cliché but, what goes around, really comes around. You just have to deal with it. Let me enjoy my life and my happiness without you. Frankly, for the past three years, I have never really thought about you. I was used to not having you around that you already seemed like a vague memory to me. Funny how one phone call can dig up all your dirty linens in my life when it was supposed to be locked up somewhere from my memory closet.

Don’t ever come back. Stop remembering the past. Stop dragging me to your sorry existence…because I have given up on you a long time ago. At my age, I have no more patience in waiting for you to fix your life.

Think about this: after breaking up with me three years ago, I have triumphed over my sadness, loneliness and heartaches alone…in just one day. So, think hard. It’s over. Let’s move forward and take a different line on the road to happiness.

Time to breathe again…

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